Also under the God Damn It Class are Bats and Giant Bugs

Why can I never draw Syker on model?

I never did see why fire was seen as the best way to kill a zombie. I suppose it makes sense to burn a corpse and get rid of the infection, but that really only applies post-redeath. Zombies have no understanding of pain, so they’ll continue to shamble and hunt even if they’re caught ablaze with the only impairment being from when the fire actually burns a limb off, but by then you’ll already have to deal with molestation from an immolated monstrosity.

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Da plan is to upload a comic, if there ain't a comic, it's cuz' I didn't stick to the plan.

MY TOAST! What will I put my peanut butter on now?

perhaps…

Moonliliy’s Tits!? :I

Today’s random Trivia. My author avatar is a conglomerate of 108 stray souls bound to a magical rod. These soul clumps are known as “Legions”. They have the same capabilities as general ghosts, such as hauntings and floating, just with more influence.

Attempting an exorcism on a legion will not outright banish it, but it will cause the “legionnaires” to lose cohesion. This will stun the legion and make him nauseas. Excessive blunt force has a similar effect. No matter the damage the legion will only be truly destroyed if the core is destroyed.

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And she went.

So we meet Natsumi, the local sadist. This comic actually has character development! Here we see I have no luck, and Natsu enjoys that waaaaaay too much. Trivia Following.

A Mastril is a beast of burden in this comic universe. It’s a large canine with long hair, and curved horns. Basically it’s a dog with ram horns. They are often used as noble steeds only, unlike horses, their diet is not vegetarian. They may show up in comic if I can learn to draw animals properly.

A Parapet is a real word. It’s a castle wall.

Also I felt productive and drew THREE Pages, so expect more throughout the week.

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Seriously.

Blurgh. In my attempts to draw myself in my recently chosen design, I overlooked the fact I’m sitting at the breakfast table. Despite my inclination to covering up as much as possible, I only wear blankets indoors. Anyway on to useless trivia.

That is a can of Slip Stream Cola (Bringing our SSA references to Two) that I am drinking. It’s processed from the flavorful juices of the SSA Blobs that they grow for medical, military, scientific, recreational, and agricultural benefits.

Syker is eating a bowl of Ourobor-Os. It is made of wheat, sugar, chocolate, magic, and other cereal ingredients. The mascot is the etymological Ouroboros, a mythic Egyptian snake that bites its own tail and represents infinity. “Ourobor-Os they’re infinitely delicious!”

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...It's okay in private though, right?

I was thinking whether or not “Steak Sandwich” was a suitable replacement for the word “Hamburger”.

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Also, believe it or not, I’ve been anticipating this episode in particular. Why? I’ll explain 2 paragraphs below.

IN THE DARK REACHES OF SPACE!

After the events of Halo 3 (wherein (*ahem* Spoiler alert!(?)) the Master Chief and Cortana end up lost in deep space in a half-destroyed warship), Cortana finds herself with nothing better to do than to contemplate her virtual navel (and perhaps the Master Chief’s cryogenetically-frozen navel, as well). She claims that upon her creation, it took her 2 hours to absorb the data pertaining to all of human history, knowledge, and understanding. Well, thanks for being such a cocky cunt, Cortana. Maybe you should take up being a schoolteacher… Actually holy shit that should totally happen. A.I. teachers? No, not that! Cortana in a teacher’s–

I mean … Anyway, so this is when the flashbacks begin. Oh boy, the flashback of all flashbacks. The flashback that retells the entire Halo timeline, from 100,000 BC to 2553 AD. Not that this is a bad thing, as this episode can be compared to The Animatrix’s The Second Renaissance, and everybody knows that was the best short of the Animatrix anthology. But then again, most people watching these should already know the history, so you would think they make up for it in pretty cinematics and finally showing us a glimpse of what really happened back then, of Forerunner civilization, right? Right, so I won’t bother with a synopsis as there isn’t much to say. As I mentioned before, I’ll make it up to you with what everyone loves: Pretty pictures!

Cortana proves she was behind it all by showing us her All-Seeing Eye...

100,000 years ago, the Forerunners ruled the galaxy.
Until a bunch of extragalactic space zombies knocked on their door and, ahem, flooded their worlds and colonies.

The Flood, to those who don’t know, is an Eldritch abomination that feeds on intelligent life, sucks their brains and bones dry, and uses them as space marine zombies from then on to kick your ass. They put a new meaning to, “stop hitting yourself!” Except in a species sense. Or something.

"They waited too long to see the threat," says Cortana as millions of Flood organisms descend upon Forerunner worlds and overrun them. And yes, every dot is one, and every frame has like, even more coming down. Seriously, how in the hell did these guys rule the galaxy and have god-like technology, when they couldn't stop what amounts as a bunch of space poo coming down meteor-like on your planet? Oh, no wait... I see the problem now.

ZE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHINGZ!

So the highly-intelligent Forerunners fought a millennial war against the Flood. But they had royally fucked up the beginning, so like pretty much every RTS in existence (including Halo Wars! *gets chased by PCfag mob*), once you screw up the beginning, chances are you’re fighting a losing battle.

"I can only guess this, fill the gaps." That's OK, Cortana, the cinematic does the job for ya!

Not shown: Energy swords FIRING THEIR LAZERZ HOREE SHIIET

So um, yeah. They fought, and they fought, but the Forerunners were no match for… The Flood’s tentacles.

It's okay to fantasize there's a hot, starved chick underneath all that sleek armor... You freak.

Rule 34 in the making

Who animated these, again?

Right, the story. So as you may or may not know, the Forerunners were screwed, so they decided to nuke all life in the galaxy with the Halo array they built. Yes, you got it. They said, “well, we tried, guys. Time to nuke everything because we fucked up.” At least Cortana lampshades the irony, and brings up a valid point, for anyone going “WTF?” by now.

Vore not included. Tentacles but no vore? Son, I am disappoint.

So they show the Halo rings over the homeworlds of several Covenant species, and the gateway to the Ark on Earth. At this point in time I am uncertain if this doesn’t contradict other established canon of where the other rings are, but what the hell. So they fetch up the DNA of some evolving species, like us humans, and several Covenant species. So, yay, we’re all clones, apparently. Unfortunately, said species would worship the very beacon of their salvation to a fanatic level, live off their technology and use it to bring holy war and genocide throughout the galaxy. Neglectful precursors: More common than you may think.

TL;DR: Lost in deep space, a crazy A.I. woman rambles to herself because she has nothing better to do, because her cyborg super-soldier space marine boyfriend’s junk is going to be frozen solid for a long, long time. (Not like she can touch it, anyway, the holographic bitch.) Also, space zombies tentacle-raping a highly advanced humanoid species to death. Goddamn you, Japan.

Conclusion: As usual, not much to say here about the episode itself. It wasn’t really as good as the Second Renaissance, for starters — That one actually gave more answers than questions. This one gave more questions then answers.

Sure, we know what the Forerunner may have looked like (and I say may seeing how unreliable the other Japanese studios were in appearances), and that is like Clone (clones from clones?) troopers from the Star Wars Clone Wars cartoon. The one where General Grievous is a badass, not the one he’s as wimpy as George Lucas makes him out to be to compensate for his lack of a–GIGANTIC TAGER!

But as I said, it doesn’t answer some things, namely why the hell the Forerunner were unable to save themselves, when it is shown they survived not only the Halo blast long enough to repopulate every damn planet with primitive, suspiciously bipedal monkeys, lizards and what-have-you, but you would think they’d put their own survival before that of the funny primitive creatures they saved. And why is humanity special compared to the other species they saved? Besides building the gateway to the Ark on Earth, there’s not much difference. Hell, they got Halo rings over their homeworlds, which led to their worship (great going, highly-advanced god-like species! Oh…wait.)

Meanwhile, WE get an ancient colossal megastructure buried for a hundred-thousand years beneath the continent thoroughly explored most by archaeologists, and that’s that.

But enough rambling; to put it simply, it was decent, but I’d expect better. And seeing part 1 of Origins covered the most riddling aspect of the Halo timeline, I’d say part 2 will dick around just as much, maybe even more so. Or maybe they’ll asspull the Emperor of Japan being descended from the Forerunners and having migrated from the planet Venus, where Japanese Covenant live in Japanese castles and worship Buddha before he even existed. Who knows?

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All right, as promised, I’ve forsaken sleep and offline activities to watch the E3 conference live at 11 AM (That’s 2 hours earlier than yesterday!). In any case, I will type this as I see it, so please note that sections of this has been free-written and it may come off as very, very informal (or maybe even wrong, but I’ll update any errors I find out). But who cares about formality, we’re not doing an essay here. We’re here to find out about our games, yo. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you…

So, the Sony conference basically starts out with Sony declaring that they’re going to talk about titles that Microsoft’s already announced in their conference. Besides loving Microsoft’s sloppy seconds again this year, Sony is STILL talking about the Playstation 2 and how it’s still “outselling” next-gen systems (especially their own!), and how they’ll continue its 10+ year-old cycle. You know, the same shit they talked about back at last year’s E3. If the best part isn’t how Sony’s still talking about its last-gen system, then Sony being the only one relying on sales statistics when everyone else mostly has moved on from that at this year’s E3 is.

Then, he assumes everyone’s been playing inFamous and that’s why they’ve got bags in their eyes. The crowd, to my surprise, cheers and applauds; seems the spokesman’s master plan of boring the people with irrelevant statistics has worked like a charm. Finally, he lets a game developer take the stage to talk about Uncharted 2. You know, actual games. (I think Sony might have taken the longest to actually get to that.) A gameplay trailer plays out as the main character takes on an attack helicopter. Somehow rolling away from Gatling gun fire and running towards the helicopter makes it miss, and with a clingy annoying female sidekick cheering him on, he goes on to storm through a building full of bad guys with the marksman skills of an Imperial Stormtrooper platoon. After a lackluster ending, Mr. Speakerperson tersely says something in a really dull fashion and departs.

Sony CEO makes an appearance(!!!) and explains the new PSP Go, tailored for those with a “digital lifestyle.” I couldn’t catch the price, but it’ll be 50% smaller and 40% lighter than the original PSP.

Hideo Kojima returns, this time with a translator (lol?), to announce Metal Gear Solid: Peacewalker for the PSP. The “true missing link” in the MGS franchise, it takes Snake to the defenseless nation of Costa Rica as it’s invaded by an unknown army. A very well-done trailer, which refuses to end about 5 times, presents Snake sneaking around the rooftops of a village that looks EXACTLY like the one you start in on Resident Evil 5. I’m not even kidding. Incidentally, Resident Evil is talked about next, with yet another incoming PSP game.

So, this video showcasing what appears to be hundreds of titles plays for around 10 minutes (I even went for a bathroom break, a snack, took a roadtrip to Las Vegas, came back, and it was still playing).

So with that delicious filler over, we go to…more monologue! Fear not, though, for I dug a gem out of the dirt! I quote the main Sony spokesman: “For the past 15 years, Sony has been synonymous with the greatest franchises in the industry:  Grand Theft Auto, Bully, Manhunt…” Yes, he actually said those last two.

And now not only is Sony taking Microsoft’s sloppy seconds, but Ubisoft is too, as it shows gameplay footage of Assassin’s Creed II. It reveals Da Vinci’s flying machine, which uses the hot smoke emitted by the numerous bonfires around the city to keep itself in the air (I got no idea if that’s even physics-friendly, but it works). After gliding through Venice and dodging fireworks and arrows from sentries declaring him a “flying demon,” our cold-hearted assassin hero Ezio reaches his assassination target, which, according to the game developer, can only be accessed by air. Err, puzzling.  Anywho, Ezio displays new and funner ways to stealthily kill guards and other people: It seems they made the “pouncing from above + hidden blade” kill easier to execute; and, to the crowd’s great delight, Ezio is seen stabbing two guards in the throat simultaneously with the help of duo hidden blades in each hand. No longer will you have to worry about the second guard detecting you when you backstab his friend! Finally, Ezio reaches his target and takes care of him, and what’s more, it seems the hour-long-death-sequence-in-an-alternate-plane-of-existence-while-I-offer-you-some-last-words-in-a-cryptic-fashion cutscenes still occur, to boot.

A great-looking RPG trailer (with quite possibly the greatest music I’ve heard on any trailer in this E3) plays on screen, and… oh, it’s just Final Fantasy XIII. Never mind. Then, what’s this? Another MMORPG on the way by Square Enix… oh, wait, it’s just another Final Fantasy game. Moving on.

SURPRISE!  Sony introduces us to a dildo with a glowing purple orb as a… no wait, that’s just their Wiimote. I’ll just go ahead and coin the term PS3mote for this new…thing.

Anyhow, they show how you can wield just about virtually (pun intended) anything using the PS3mote, from “Stop” signs, to BFSs, to tennis rackets, to golden Desert Eagles. You could even hold a flashlight and move it around to appreciate the great lighting. Additionally you can draw and write, and do all sorts of other more mundane things that the Wii hasn’t done yet, and with better graphics and motion sensing to boot. Amazingly, it seems to perfectly meld both the Wiimote and Microsoft’s Project Natal quite nicely. Impressive, but Sony’s still taking sloppy seconds here. Sloppy thirds, even.

So the apparently much-anticipated game the Last Guardian, formerly known as Trico, is one of the last trailers to be revealed. It focuses around some temple boy running away and almost falling from a high place; then some fugly, dog-headed, feathered, lizard-footed, mutant FREAK thing saves him; and then they have a bunch of adventures together with somber, idyllic music playing in the background in the style of hippie fantasy conjured by Native American mythology and a shitload of acid.

So, instead of leaving something new and unannounced for the main event (Sony blames “lol leaks” FYI), the main event turns out to be a God of War III live playable demo. It takes Kratos across a war-torn city, and he nearly meets his death in the first 30 seconds of the live gameplay sequence as the guy playing it fails to defend himself from enemy hordes and their ball projectiles. Apparently being rushed by time restraints, he bypasses hordes of enemies and walks through a door, watching Kratos get bombarded by the ball projectiles as the walking through the door animation transpires. On the next room in the level he continues to his destination, humping and raping birds as a means to platform jump to higher places; his large, flaming blade ripping the birds to bloody pieces by the time he gets off of them. He charges the city center, where a titan is doing battle with Helios, the sun god (shouldn’t it be Apollo, considering this is Greek mythology?). Saying flat interjections like “Feel the wrath of the sun!”, Apollo Helios swoops circles around the Titan like a moth in his flaming chariot. While this is all going in the background, Kratos continues. I honestly don’t see how that’s relevant, and I won’t be finding out, because Kratos was too busy action-commanding to death some giant ugly lizard who tried to sneak up on him as he was about to intervene in the Apollo Helios Vs. Titan fight; and, once done, the game was cut short because they ran out of time, bringing an end to the last E3 conference this year.

And no, no PS3 price drop. Raeg some moar.

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All right, as promised, I’ve forsaken sleep and offline activities to watch the E3 conference live at 1 PM. In any case, I will type this as I see it, so please note that this will be mostly free-written and it may come off as very, very informal (or maybe even wrong). But who cares about formality, we’re not doing an essay here. We’re here to find out about our games, yo. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you…

SPOTLIGHT: MICROSOFT
So it starts with some dumbass, boring, 2-minute-long video playing 60s rock and roll, announcing… Beatles Rock Band? Really? We’re releasing an installment to the virtual band genre based around one band? Well, I’m not a Rock Band or a Guitar Hero fan, so I don’t really care. Also, Beatles, big whoop. What’s next? Jonas Brothers Guitar Hero? Okay, so as I write this, they’ve been singing gay-ass Beatles song for the past 4 minutes; yes, they’ve been covering a game based on one rock band for over 5 minutes now. Why are you still talking about it? Beatles meets Rock Band, we fucking get it. You could be using this time to cover more goddamn games, but I guess milking it for all it’s worth, and even more is part of making up for actual good stuff. Know what? I’m just gonna stop typing now, wait for this shit to end.

7 minutes of insufferable songs later…

Ok, it’s over– No wait, they– YES, finally. Some guy said “Welcome to E3.” Now begins the long-winded monologue bullshit philosophy about playing games, connecting with the world, the comfort in the living room, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Oh, what’s this? No charts about game sales and other rates? And 10 new unannounced releases? Already I wonder what the catch is.

Down comes Tony Hawk, announcing his newest skateboard game, Tony Hawk Ride. It would seem they’ve finally made a “skateboard pad” for you to actually get on a virtual skateboard a la DDR. It sounds interesting, but how it’ll be practical is beyond me, as I don’t see how you can duplicate going airborne when you never really do (or can, even) in your living room.

Thankfully, that was a short announcement, and now we’re moving on to better things: The FPSes. There is a very visually appealing trailer playing now about… Oh yes, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2. And there’s a very, very sweet release date: 10/11/09. Very nice; that sparked my interest. Oh! And a showcased demo, even! All right, so your character and his partner are slowly edging themselves over some icy cliffs all mountaineer-style. Seems you control your climb the icy cliff, or it could just be a semi-interactive cutscene, who knows. The screen goes black and “In the interest of time…” appears on the screen; the character is now holding an assault rifle and is stealthily making his way through what appears to be an enemy outpost, though the radio chatter’s unintelligible to me right now. After starting a huge gunfight and running around an airstrip, the screen goes black again, but I couldn’t make out what the text said this time. Now he’s fighting dozens of baddies, and they don’t seem to be terrorists, unless you think terrorists have their own air force. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell what the jet fighter was, but it might have been a MiG. I wouldn’t be surprised if the setting was Russia, snow and all. And the player gets on a snowmobile, drives down the mountain while shooting enemies with his machine pistol, and it ends. Cue crowd cheer. I can’t wait for more on that. (The snow mobile part later did remind me of James Bond, something I have to critisize.)

Ah, Cliffy of Epic Games walks on to the stage with… some other guy. I laugh a little bit to myself because his MICROPHONE’S BROKEN! It keeps going static and going from very low to very high volume, and he lampshades it and the crowd laughs. Oh you’re so clever, person whose name I’ll never know. Anyway, seems Epic Fail Games is showcasing a new shoot-em-up for the Live Arcade. I missed the title, but oh well, nothing much there. I honestly thought we were going to hear about Gears of War this early. (It later turns out we didn’t hear anything about Gears at all, unsurprisingly enough.)

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I have… UROBOROS VISIONARY NEXUS!

In less than five minutes, we will reach the optimal altitude for Intro deployment.

Visionary Nexus will be released into the Internets, ensuring

COMPLETE

MEMETIC

SATURATION

I mean.

Hi.

Obligatory memes and rudimentary spacing aside, I was coerced told to write an introduction post in this here blog. At first, I was like “…wut. how 2 blog” simply ‘cuz I’ve never written a blog before, at least, not one like this. Well, SCREW INEXPERIENCE!!! I HAVE… Oh wait, I mentioned Uroboros already. Damn it. Er, moving on! An inspiring writer must write! In any case, I’ll get on with it.

So again, good day, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Syker Luyez, one of the Elite Four ‘madmins’ of Visionary Nexus, as Light so cleverly put it.

As everyone here, I am both a gamer and anime viewer. I am uncertain as to my main role in VN, if any, but I’ll find a niche soon enough. If not, then I will simply collaborate with the other madmen who run this website in future projects. I might start LPing as well, presuming I get Camtasia working and if a certain someone would help me with it. If I do, expect some different games to be LPed (i.e., rarely LPed or games I find to be underrated, even). Or I’ll perhaps be that innovative guy who comes up with all the neat ideas and get others to implement on my behalf. Yeah, that works for me, why lie.

Finally, I would like to address the recent Lelouch/Zero impostors that have surfaced around lately. I’m looking at you, Xéro! I guarantee you that I am the one and only Lelouch vi Britannia. Now, I order you, all of you, to join our forum, tell all your friends to join as well, and if they say no, bring them to me so I may cast my Geass upon them!

Oh and yeah I wear a pixel monocle. Isn’t it just charming? o.q
Good day, folks! o.q
ALL HAIL VISIONARY NEXUS

~Syke

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